20

Stop the confusion.

Anyway, on to the spectacularity of last night, the AEpi's Pimps and Ho's party was just ok. As soon as I can get my hands on some pics, I'll post them. It was really packed and really hot, so Kristina, her friend and I went to Phi Psi. Then I get a call from the FIJI guys and they tell me to get back to my room asap. I get back to my room and a little later three guys show up in suits and give me a bid, which is fucking sweet. If I was going to pledge, it would be there. So hopefully in the next few months I'll be part of Phi Gamma Delta.

After those shinanigans, I hung out at the dorm with Gaal, Kristina, Adam, and Dustin, then went to Adam's room with Kristina, then to Markley to see Jaimie, Ed, and Softy. Had a parking adventure with them. Passed out at Jaimie's and now I'm back and I have to go to class right now. Tired and buzzed.


PS- I got sweet sunglasses

I'm never going to be able to figure myself out.

If all goes well, tonight will spectacular.

I sorta guess a lot has happened in the past few days. I did make my decision, so I hope I didnt fuck myself big time there.

You people never fail to surprise me. The more I hear, the less I like. It's really disappointing. But I guess that's just how some people are. As a wise man once said to me, "You can't save people from themselves."

When will people learn?

Well this turned into quite the pickle.

Classes started today. Nothing more to say about that. I saw 40 year old virgin, it was amazing.

I've got a secret, and I have to tell someone.
Unfortunately, the person who needs to hear it probably wont.
**edit** do not ask about the secret, i did tell one person (not the person who needs to hear it), but thats good enough for right now.

college is the fucking life.

Classic case of Seventy Times 7.
Just remember, There's No "I" In Team.
(if you don't know already, look up the link between the songs to understand what happened)


ps- great night.

State was a good time. I'm glad I got to see everyone I didnt get to see before they left. Maybe next time Pierce.

Note to self: next time I go to State, make sure I have someone to stay with prior to going there, not at 2am with no where to go.

Do you know what's the worst part of being the last to leave for college?

Having to say goodbye to everyone.

nothing this good could last forever
The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time.
this all was only wishful thinkin
you're such a sucker for a sweet talker
promise of a better day, promise of a greater hope, promise of a new tomorrow
This won’t mean a thing come tomorrow
And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the inconsistencies of my moods
it's a shame I don't think that they'll notice
my eye through the scope down the barrel of a gun.
This is me with the worst intentions
of the million things you had to say sorry just might have found it's way in there somehow
I'll still wait for your call
Cuz I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
Maybe I should hate you for this
It's worse than you think
I’m only complaining to keep myself busy
So here's a present to let you know I still exist
This isn't high school
This whole situation is incredibly typical
But how could I miscalculate?
Perfect eyes will have perfect hate.
Don't apologize - I hope you choke and die
Girl come to me, the only broken-hearted loser you'll ever need
Cause it's all been done and it's all been said
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
I know this will be temporary
But I cant tell you that I've had enough

I got my wisdom teeth out. Apparently when my mom and the nurse dragged me out to the car after, I said "I feel like I'm drunk" to my mom. I have no recollection of this. Most of you wont want to read this entire post cuz it looks long, but I think it's worthwhile.

To preface, I've been putting off this inevitable post, but it seems I dont have much more time before everyone leaves anymore.

Well everyone, this is it. No more "hey! I'll see you tomorrow!" promises, no more guaruntee that we'll see the people we've seen pretty much everyday the last 4 years of our lives ever again. Yes, I realize that's not looking at the bright side of things, but that possibility is there. It is time that we will find out who are true friends are, who will be with us to the end. We've all been saying "high school's over" to deal with problems with friends and whatever drama, but now high school truly is over. We're all going to be scattered across the state and country, and a fight with a friend now could possibly to lead to years of no communication. Don't let that happen. I would like to say that if I have ever made anyone mad about anything, I'm sorry. I dont want to lose anyone over it.

As we prepare to take the next step in our lives, I can't help to think how everything is going to change. I've been thinking about it all summer; this supposed "last summer" together. Every night that something didnt go on I thought of it as a night wasted. Who know's when we'll see each other again. Of course it calms us to make empty promises such as I'll come and visit you at school, but it wont be that easy to do so, and we know it.

Unlike people going to MSU or other colleges, I'm not going to college with that many of my school friends. I feel like the friends I'll make will replace the ones from home. But I'll try not to do that, just add friends instead of replacing. We all have to admit it, though this summer has been fun, in the back of our minds we always kept fresh that we're never going to be with these people ever again in the same situation. I guess it sort of made the summer weird, like a pretense of happiness clouded by the depressing thought of departure. It's sucks to think in two weeks I'll be gone, and even less time before many of you will be too. Some of you in less than a week. It's sad. I dont know any other way to put it than that simple phrase. It's sad. Being away not only from friends, but family as well. I can't even stand to think about it any more than I have to, and yet it's still happening. This is no skeleton we can put in our closet.

There are just so many people I'm going to miss. Sorry if this post doesn't sound "manly", but it's true. All the friends I made this year and throughout high school. People who have supported me through thick and thin, helped each other out through the hardest times, the happiest times, and now the last time. If there's anything we need to say to each other, this is it. We may not get the oppurtunity to do so again. Sure there's gonna be 5, 10, 20 year reunions and so on, but that is an awfully long time to regret something.

But enough about the reality shock. With all the time we have left here together, let's actually do something instead of pretending that we're making plans and then bitching when nothing happens. And when we do go, let's keep a contant reminder of each other and all the fun times we had together. Whether it's parties you remember, or just a sunday afternoon you spent with doing nothing with your best friends, remember these times. Memory can either be an anathema or blessing, it just depends what you want it to be. Here comes the cliche of the entry: Keep in touch. Even if it's just a 2 minute phone call or message, hearing from old friends is a great feeling.

I wrote this once, and I'll write it again. So to all my friends that I will be leaving for the year and maybe forever, as our paths lead us down several different roads, I ask one thing, and one thing only. Remember the times we shared, the meaningful conversations we had, remember the good times, the parties, the late nights... but most of all, remember me. I love you guys, I really do, and I dont know how I could have made it through high school without all of you there.

I've returned.

( Backpacking at Pictured Rocks )

I got my first speeding ticket.  11 over.  Cop wrote me up for 5 over.  I get my wisdom teeth pulled on monday.  Not too excited.
Went to Ann Arbor last night and saw a lot of people from camp.  It was good to see everyone again, I missed them this summer.  Wild night.
Then Nikki's grad party today/tonight.  Swimming late in cold water to hot shower transfer.  All in all, everything's okay.  But something's on my mind.

Damn, everyone seems to be changing.

Obscure and vague in the depths of sorrow. I can't wait to leave this fucking place.

Thursday was fun. I'll see you all next week.

Last night was fun.

Final Count: 22 days

So according to what all these girls say, I should be perfect for all of you. Nice guy you want? Nice guy you got. But it's all right when you read this and think no, that will just continue to prove my point how nice guys never end up with the girl. You want to be treated nice, taken out on dates, and be made important? Well that's something I can do, but was friended far to early for me to get in that situation. But this isnt just about me, though I will make and talk about several references to my life as a "nice guy", that I was so unanminously voted.

Truth be told, I did try to become an asshole to try and get girls, since that seemed to be working so well for everyone else. But I coudlnt; I could make sarcastic remarks, but I couldnt play that game and be mysterious. Sorry I have respect for some girls, and dont think that being a dick is the way to get to them. Obviously, I was wrong. I just cant see any situation where a girl will be in a relationship with a nice guy, other than friends. Eric said it exactly right, girls want the chase. And it's not that nice guys are pushovers, cuz I definitely am not, it's just that true feelings for a girl seem to be outweighed by the irresistability of an asshole. I mean, I'm sorry I care. I guess that's a personality flaw on my part.

So why shouldnt I become an asshole? If it works so well, whats the point in being nice to girls, whats the point of having respect for them if I can only become a friend that I dont want to become? I can try and change it for college because my tenure with Kimball girls is over. There is no way I can establish a relationship with any of them. This isn't a strike against you girls, but prove me wrong. Can you see me being in a relationship with you? Any of you? If no, then ask yourself why. And when that answer is because I'm too good of friends with you to be your boyfriend, think why I'm too good of friends with you. Because when we first met I decided to be nice and not fucking dick. I'm gonna be completely honest right now, I have liked some of you girls at some point, and some I still do (tho not as much, sorry), but it just completely shatters hope of relationship when you are considered the nice guy. I'm not saying oyu shouldnt call guys nice from now on, but that just means I'm already considered a friend in the horrid place known as the box.

I guess it's also my fault that I prefer a girlfriend over random hookups. Not that I'm against random hookups, because yeah, I'm still a guy.

There is no other way to put it. I've said it before and I'll say it again:
Nice guys finish last.
That's just how it is. Some nice guys might get lucky, and will finish just before last. But for the rest of us, we'll just sit here at the end of the line building numerous friendships with girls that we once liked with the hope of becoming more than friends. And as time goes by, we'll gradually get over these girls and start anew, with the same hopes and the same results. Girls say they want nice guys, but I still havent seen proof of it. Grant said it, I'm a nice guy with good intentions. But I'm already just the friend. There's no way around it. Nice guys finish last.

I want everyone to answer this. Think of it like a poll. And dont cheat and look at the comments to see what everyone else said before you answer.


Am I a nice guy? -or-
Am I an asshole?


I dont care if you call me an asshole, or a nice guy. I just want as many people to answer this as possible and I'll explain later, if necessary.

Havent updated in awhile... quick recap on the past week.
-work
-concert
-6 nights at home
So that basically concludes it.

I got the new Harry Potter book, and yes, I already finished it. I'm going to write my thoughts on it, and if you have not read the book and intend to, then dont look behind the cut.

( HP and The Half-Blood Prince: My Thoughts )

Well that's all I can think of right now, let me know if you have any additions or dis/agreeances to what I said.  And no, I don't feel like a loser because I wrote this.